Our Teams Favorite Pilot Jokes

It’s safe to say we’ve all heard numerous bad jokes over the years, and no matter how punny they may be, you can’t help but chuckle. Where would any of us be without jokes and laughter to brighten our spirits? With July 1 being International Joke Day, we want to make sure you’re prepared to celebrate. Here are some of our favorite pilot jokes — just be sure to cue the laugh track and have someone ready to say “ba dum tss” after the punch line.

Q: How do you know there’s a pilot in the room?
A:  He or she will tell you.

Q: What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?
A: “Boeing, Boeing, Boeing!”

Q: What's the difference between a pilot and a pepperoni pizza?
A: A pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: Why was the little airplane sent to his hangar? 
A: Bad altitude.

Q: Who built an airplane that couldn't fly? 
A: The Wrong brothers. 

Q: What happens to a bad airplane joke?
A: It never lands.

Q: What’s the difference between God and a pilot? 
A: God doesn’t think he’s a pilot…

Q: What do airplane builders say about their job?
A: It’s riveting.

Kid: "I want to be a pilot when I grow up!" Parent: “You can't do both!"

Instructor: Umm…seems a bit windy today.
Student: “Yeah – sorry, I had curry last night.”

Pilot: “N1234, Roger.”
Passenger: “Oh, that’s nice you know him.”

Airline Pilot to passengers: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is we’re lost. The good news is we’re making good time.”
 
Grandchild: “I want to die in my sleep peacefully like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.”

We could keep you in stiches for days, but we will stop for now. We do leave you with an idea, however. It’s always important to take some time out of your day to recognize the important job humor plays in keeping stress at bay, building relationships, and bringing levity to a world that badly needs it right now. Spread the humor by leaving a secret written joke on a neighbor’s stoop, a colleague's desk, or mail it to your best friend. You can always leave the joke in a funny mug, or a pilot mug if the person is into aviation. Either way, it is a simple gesture that will be sure to get a grin.